L x infinity

This is symbol that doesn’t mean anything. It’s just something I draw in the margins of my notes sometimes. Visually it recalls the cursive “L” but on repeat, to infinity, and “L,” especially in cursive, always recalls the word “Love” to me, and, in particular, the song that I always associate with the Lindsay Lohan version of The Parent Trap that begins with the line, “L is for the way you look at me…” That song makes me think of the time, or perhaps multiple times that my third – eighth grade best friend Jenna—or perhaps it was Jenna and Amy, my other best friend… or Jenna and her younger sister Sarah—choreographed and performed a dance to that song on my parents’ coffee table for our parents. But I digress. The symbol came from Amy on some occasion or multiple occasions when we were sitting in class together probably in the third grade or before, and she was doodling and continuing or practicing the cursive L to infinity. Maybe she taught that to me, or maybe I just copied her. But it was something we both would doodle together, and it made me feel connected, a counter-part, best friend. It made me feel sophisticated and fancy, and now when I don’t have anything to doodle, I find myself creating the infinite L, and it reminds me of her. We haven’t spoken in years. And we haven’t really even been friends since the seventh grade. And when I draw it I think of her and our intertwined friendship that we thought would continue to infinity.

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